Hi guys. Firstly sorry for being so negligent. I have been a bit of a hermit since my last post. Many reasons for that which I will hopefully get into one by one. So number one is, I got a new job. Boom! Working in Canary Wharf is good fun. Most importantly it gives my structure in my day. Without it, I could happily veg in front of the telly forever. Seriously. Just give me a lifetime supply of Thai Sweet Chilli Sensations and I am good to go. With all that lovely structure though I have also been training a lot. I try and go 4 times a week and I am loving it. I know it doesn’t sound too fun fighting people but I will explain later.

So I started work and all was going well. Training filled my evening and I was generally on a healthy route. Then things went bad. My skin flared up and my hip started to play up. Now I feel I should explain something. Although it sucks, I can deal with pain. I mean I have practically been living in it since I was 15. The pain is not that much of an issue for me. But yeah my health took a turn for the worst.

This is actually really hard for me to write about because I have no idea where to start. Basically the bottom line is I got really tired of always having to find the silver lining in things (which I am generally really good at). Just as things started to go really well at work and training then, BAM! I can barely move or concentrate at my desk. I want to say that it is not fair but then what is. I started feeling knots in my stomach and things were basically getting the better of me. This all resulted in a mini mental breakdown last weekend. Maybe mental breakdown is a bit dramatic. But yeah I couldn’t get out of bed and I was questioning my own existence and worth as a human being. I mean if i can’t move then I would be a rubbish hunter gatherer.

I managed to pull though that though. My parents and brother were there for me. Also the thought of my getting my blackbelt from Guru Bob really helped me get on the right path. I am far from my goal still. In fact I have taken many steps backwards. But sometimes you have to destroy what is there to begin rebuilding. I still feel pretty down about everything but slowly as my body starts healing then my mind will too.

I do get complimented a lot on my positivity but, the thing is, is that I don’t have much of a choice. I can either let everything consume me, wind up in hospital and die young while having lived an unfulfilling life. Which sounds generally dull and pointless. Or I can take charge of my actions, thoughts and health. Live right in every sense of the word. Mentally, physically, spiritually, morally…ect. You get the picture.

Anyway I feel like I am rambling a bit. That is a pretty deep post right there. I am not sure of the future or even the present for now. But I can take strength in the people and my own actions that have guided me in the past. I dunno. To be honest people I think this post was more for me then it was for you so I will leave it there for now.

I am fine. So now for the tune. No idea yet what I will pick. Hold on let me check itunes quickly. Stay right there. Ahhh who here likes The XX. Jamie XX is the man and I really like the band. Anyway Jamie XX did an album using all samples from Gil Scott Heron’s last album he made before he died. Just an awesome tune. Turn the bass up and check it.

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