Archives for the month of: February, 2013

Well it has been a rough kind of week. Been feeling really down for many reasons and really not feeling myself. It has taken a lot for me to actually write this down because usually (I have been told), I internalize what I feel and think. I know that this really affects my Crohn’s. Whenever I feel down, I can feel the pressure right in my gut and it is horrible. Probably more so than the actual physical pains because at least with that, you can take a painkiller.

My training is really helping me. It has bought me face to face with a lot of my inner demons. Not saying that I have overcome them, but I know that they exist. The reason I feel the need to mention all of this is because I feel my mental well being is essential for my physical well being.

The last thing that helped me get over my recent funk is the knowledge that I have a lot of people out there that like me. Which is surprising because, as my cousin said ‘Shaanvir doesn’t really take well to people.’ Seriously he said that in front of one of my friends. I know. What a knob.

But it got me thinking that the people I have around me aren’t around me because they have to but because they want to. And I appreciate that.

Again not sure why I am mentioning all of this. I suppose the moral is that there is always a silver lining. If you focus too much on what is going wrong, then you will just spiral into a well of depression. But if you can see that there is good out there, then it will push you to fight and make things better. How deep am I!

Also, anyone that knows me knows that Bruce Lee is one of my greatest hero’s and I watched a recent documentary on him. BADASS! Anyway he had a list of things he wanted to achieve in his life. One thing on his list really resonated with me and I have adopted it as my new life goal. ‘I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and happiness’. I honestly thought that Bruce Lee couldn’t be more awesome but there you have it.

So my song this time is from Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. I think Nick Cave is awesome and this song is the Higgs Boson Blues. There is nothing uncool about him or this song.

 

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I want to really thank everyone who has read and commented on my blog over the past few days. It really means a lot to have your support and motivates me to work harder at spreading awareness. However, I feel it is important to mention that although this blog is about me, it is not for me. So again if you do know anyone who suffers from any form of IBD please show them this blog and put them in touch with me because I would love to hear their story. It would be beneficial to myself and any other suffers.

What I would really like from this blog is to give other suffers options. I know what it is like to feel totally helpless when being told you will be diseased for the rest of your life. But the truth is, there is a blessing in disease. It helps put everything into perspective so you can see what is most important to you. The disease will only be as bad as you let it be. By having different experiences on here, good and bad, it will give other people more of an understanding of their options when living with the disease.

Ok enough about that, back to me. Not much to report really. Got my arse absolutely handed to me in training yesterday which sucked, but I did learn a lot. I have also found that today I have been eating so much. Not junk but actually wanting to eat good food. I will be indulging in pancakes later though. I had to take my Humera yesterday as well which did bring me down but the way I see it, it is temporary. I need it now so I don’t need it later.

I heard the guy who did the tune below off the TV show Fresh Meat. Really like it though.

Still not great at updating the blog but I am getting better. After my last post, I went to my cousins house and then we went out for a drink. Predictably I felt rubbish the next day. Sometimes I seriously hate my body. On the flipside, I have officially started my training at the Bob Breen Academy hence the title of this post. Trained 3 times this week and instantly felt an improvement. By my last session yesterday I was actually getting more flexible and kicking up to shoulder height. Sometimes I totally love my body.

I also felt a difference in my digestion believe it or not. I would come back from training starving and drinking plenty of water. My stomach is feeling better because of it too. Obviously I noticed the difference with the Humera but I could still feel the familiar feeling nagging. That feeling is still there but it is less prominent now I have started the training.

I think a lot of it has to do with (as cliche as it sounds) merging mind, body and soul. I am training so I feel healthier, therefore I become healthier not only in my body but in my mind. Could also just be the endorphins. But it is still working so I will be carrying on. Nearly hit my target weight too. Just a few more pounds to go.

Another important thing in this whole new super Shaanvir is being brave. One of my cousins told me to do something once a week that you consider brave. Was considering a career in espionage but after the latest Bond movie it just looks boring so this week I will be merging my facebook, twitter and blog altogether.

Please people comment and discuss and get involved because I barely know what I am talking about. I’m just trying to share my experiences with my disease to search for a way to be drug free. Also anyone who is a sufferer and wishes to share their experiences too then please get in contact. It would be awesome to have more opinions and ideas on here. And the tune for this week is a banger and a tribute to someone I have a lot of respect for. If you haven’t read it, then pick up Assata Shakur’s autobiography.